Poems for Healing - A Better Place

A Better Place was written many years ago to memorialize young girl who was unexpectedly and suddenly killed. The poem is shared in memory of several other young girls who died recently suddenly and unexpectedly in the hopes that it will bring some comfort to family and friends left behind.

The poem has been helpful for those who believe in a life beyond this one to bring hope that they will one day be reunited in the better place.

A Better Place

Cry for me no more
the many tears of sadness
My time in this world was over
and it came for me to pass.

Bring the photos of old time
and see them not with tear-filled eyes
But with eyes of joy and laughter
and smile once more with me.

Know that I am in a better place
one without disease
without hatred and without death
In this kingdom I now call home

I wait here for you
When your time comes to pass
to ease the transition
from the old to the new.

Cry for me no more.
Remember only the laughter.
For I am in another realm
And I wait to see you again.

© 1999 Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

About the Poem
This poem came to me after a request by a visitor to the Journey of Hearts site to find a poem that would be appropriate for remembering a birthday of a young woman, killed by a drunk driver in 1999.

The story reminded me of another young girl, the daughter of one of my teachers, who has killed in the mid 1970's during plane crash at the very young age of 3.

To both of them, their families and the many other families since who have lost loved ones suddenly and unexpectedly, we hope they have found their better place.

Angel image from boslea

Water Blessing Label Bookmarks for Focused Healing

In September 2009 The Spirit of Water added several news products to their product line that I have already supported in this blog and in the NICU Parent Support Blog.

The new product that I am really excited about is their Water Blessing Labels Bookmarks, particularly the one for focused healing.

Blessing for Weight Loss, Focused Healing and for Awakening

There are three news Water Blessing Label Bookmarks, one for Weight Loss, one for Focused Healing and another for Awakening.

• The 6 phrases on blessing labels for Weight Loss are: "fresh start," "mindful eating," "breakthrough," "vibrant health," "ageless beauty," and "boundless energy."
• The 6 words on blessing labels for the Focused healing are: "acceptance," "serenity," "courage," "patience," "humor," and "energy."
• The 6 words on blessing labels words for Awakening are: "love,""gratitude,""peace," and "joy."

The Focused Healing labels contain the 6 static-cling blessing labels, bookmark and inspirational mini cards. The words on the bookmark carry a healing message as well:

You are guided from within as your healing journey brings you back to yourself.

The bookmark can be used to inspire you in your healing process. Place it in a book as a reminder of your healing journey.

More affordable
These bookmarks are a smaller number of blessing labels than the regular size, so half the price $4.95 compared to $9.95 for the larger size.

Find out more about the bookmarks and other new products, the Water Blessing Labels and specially offers at their website, The Spirit of Water.

More:

Dyer KA. 2009. Water Blessing Labels a Way to Help with Healing and Coping. Grief, Loss & Transitions Blog.
Dyer KA. 2009. Spirit of Water - Love is in the NICU. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2007. Water Blessing LabelsTurn Water (or Medicine) into Liquid Prayers. NICU Parent Support Blog.
Dyer KA. 2008. Water Blessing Labels. Squidoo.com

Image Source: The Spirit of Water Website.

Dr. Dyer to talk about the Anniversary Response and Healing on 9/11

On 9/11 I will be joining Dr. Sally Witt as one of her guests for her blog talk radio show “9/11 Remembrance and Healing with Dr. Sally.”

The show is about continued healing, seven years after the tragic attacks. It is schedule to be a show of love, respect, and remembrance without political discussions.

I am one of the scheduled guests as the Bereavement Specialist, based on the Anniversary Reaction lens that I created on Squidoo. The lens was written to help people understand the Anniversary Reaction and why sometimes remembering isn’t always a happy occasion.

If you want to tune in to hear the show, I am scheduled to be on the show from 3:00 - 3:30 EST, 12:00 - 13:30 PST (My time). It is supposed to be recorded, so I’ll include a link once the file is available.

Earth Hour - Turn out the Lights on 3/29 Prevent the Loss of the Planet

I am taking a bit of a digression from the Normal Grief, Loss & Transitions postings to post a blog about Earth Hour, a Global Event on March 29 to raise awareness about Climate Change.

The topic of Climate Change does relate to this blog topic of Grief, Loss and Transitions. We are seeing a transition in the global climate, which may lead to a loss and grief of things we have previously taken for granted.

Do Something While We Still have a Chance
Al Gore's quotes from an Inconvenient Truth really got to me as a Mother of two young children:

Future generations may well have occasion to ask themselves, "What were our parents thinking? Why didn't they wake up when they had a chance?"

We have to hear that question from them, now.

I want to make sure that my daughter's get to enjoy hiking and being out in nature the same way that I have been able to do.

Lights out on Earth Hour 2008, March 29
On March 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm millions of people, businesses and governments around the world will be switching off the lights for one hour during Earth Hour 2008.

I've been trying to spread the word and get people to sign up and turn off the lights on March 29 to do something good for the planet.

Earth Hour a simple one time act, but it's away of getting people, families, businesses and governments involved and thinking about Climate Change. Hopefully by raising awareness people will start doing other things in their daily lives to make a difference.

More Information:
You can read more about Earth Hour and more simple things you can do to make a difference in the various articles that I've posted on the topic on Squidoo, "Earth Hour 2008 on March 29, 2008 Turn off the Lights" on Type A Mom "Turn out the lights for Earth Hour March 29, 2008" on the Lensroll "Earth Hour 2008 - Turn out the Lights for One Hour" and on Momshare "Lights Out for Earth Hour on March 29, 2008 and for the Planet."

Sacred Life Sunday
This is a Celebrating Sacred Life Sundays Post, a weekly celebration of what is sacred and special in our life.

For me there is nothing more Sacred than ensuring my daughters get to enjoy hiking and being out in nature, something that I have done all of my life.

Resources:
Dyer KA. Earth Hour 2008 on March 29, 2008 Turn off the Lights. Squidoo.com
Dyer KA. Turn out the lights for Earth Hour March 29, 2008. Type-A Mom.
Dyer KA. Earth Hour 2008 - Turn out the Lights for One Hour. Lensroll.
Dyer KA. Lights Out for Earth Hour on March 29, 2008 and for the Planet. Momshare.

Light a Candle for Sacred Life Sunday

The first Sacred Life Sunday post is dedicated to Carla and her amazing candles. (If you haven't tried any of the Zena Moon Candles be sure to order some for your own sacred ceremonies.)

Creating a Mini Sacred Moment
I find during times of stress or duress or when I want to focus my thoughts on something, I will often light a favorite candle and just sit, watch the hypnotic flames and thing about Chandogya Upanishad's quote that

There is a light that shines
beyond all things on earth,
beyond us all, beyond the heavens.
This is the light that shines in our hearts.

Stopping to light a candle helps me to reconnect with the light that shines in our heart. Thanks to Carla, when picking out a candle to light I can choose one with a soothing, calming scent and combined with a favorite quote. (The one picture, intuition is the amazingly soothing scent of rain and plum.)

After lighting a favorite candle I can then sit for a few moments, watch the flame, focus on the quote and recenter myself as part of a mini sacred moment.

Creating a More Elaborate Sacred Moment
You can read about the A Cleansing, Healing Candle Burning Ceremony for suggestions on ways of creating a more elaborate sacred candle burning ceremony.

About Zena Moon Candles
Carla has made the Zena Moon Candles since 2000. Her unique hand-poured candles honor your journey, delight your senses and feed your spirit. I have a collection of her candles around my desk with "Inspiration," "Radiance," "Take a Risk," "Protection," "Faith," "Angel Blessings" and "Beyond Fear" are those closest at hand.

Sacred Life Sunday
This is a Celebrating Sacred Life Sundays Post, a weekly celebration of what is sacred and special in our life.

More on Lighting Candles:
Dyer KA. February 2008. A Cleansing, Healing Candle Burning Ceremony Grief, Loss & Transitions Blog.
Dyer KA. July 2007. Restoring Moment: Light a Candle. Type-A Mom Site.
Dyer KA. November 2007. Worldwide Candle Lighting Lens. Squidoo.

Celebrating Sacred Life Sunday

Carla Blazek at Zena Musings has come up with a wonderful idea for celebrating what is special or sacred to you in life by blogging about it weekly on Sundays.

She describes Sacred Life Sunday as follows:

Sacred Life Sunday isn't really a challenge -- that sounds too strenuous -- it's really more of a softening ... into a moment, a treasured possession, a companion -- people, parts and places of your everyday life that you cherish. Whatever is sacred to you.

For me, it might be my altar, a candle I'm burning, my dogs, the garden, a friend, a book I'm reading, nature, something I did, someplace I went, something important to me, or, who knows, maybe just my morning bowl of Cheerios!

The idea is to creatively connect with the holiness of my everyday life, plus I also need gentle kicks in the butt to turn OFF the game of Hearts and away from shadow comforts and turn towards God, life and others.

Grief, Loss & Transitions Blog Joins Sacred Life Sunday
The main idea of Sacred Life Sunday is to share something that is sacred to you or helps you connect with your spirit on a weekly basis.

So I'll be joining the Sacred Life Sunday with the Grief, Loss and Transitions Blog and sharing something that is special, sacred or healing to me or just helps me reconnect with special restoring moments.

Source: Carla Blazek. Welcome to Sacred Life Sundays. October 2007. http://zenamoon.typepad.com/weblog/2007/10/welcome-to-sacr.html

Be Inspired by A Knock at the Door

"A Knock at the Door" was created as a love letter to your Inner Child. It was written for the dreamers of the world, those who still believe in magic and in miracles.

This mini-film is a beautiful empowering message for any young girl to believe in herself, in her imagination and in her dreams. It is also an empowering, inspiring and healing message to those of use who are a bit older.

Be Inspired and Watch the Love Letter for Your Inner Child:



"A Knock at the Door" Inspiring People Around the World
"A Knock at the Door" the 5-minute mini-film was created by Angi Sullins and Silas Toball as a fairy tale to inspire artists and dreamers. Since 2004 this mini-film has circled the globe via weblinks and emails and has been seen by over 1,000,000 viewers, inspiring those who view it.

For More Information and to order the Knock at the Door Book and DVD see the lens that I created A Knock at the Door - An Inspirational Mini-Film and Book - A Fairy Tale.

A Cleansing, Healing Candle Burning Ceremony

I was inspired by the post yesterday on Coping with Valentine's Day as a Single and remembering the cleansing Valentine's Burning Ritual (Boyfriend burning bonfire) conducted by Phoebe for Monica and Rachel to help them deal with the holiday.

I went in search to find a positive, healing candle burning ritual and remembered that I had created on for my friends several years ago. This would work for Valentine's Day, when you are coping with a break-up or divorce. It would also work for any time that you would like to clear out the cobwebs of the past or manage a transition.

To do the candle ceremony yourself, read through the text, decide which passages you would like to use. Get the corresponding number of candles then recite the passages as you light the candle.

A Cleansing, Healing Candle Burning Ceremony

On this day…

I light a candle for harmony and transformation

so that past regrets, disappointments and losses no longer consume me.

I light a candle for understanding and compassion for all of humankind

for those who love me and for those who do not.

I light a candle for healing and cleansing my mind, body and spirit

so that my past no longer hides the wondrous essence of who I am.

On this day…

I light a candle for the insight to make wise decisions,

so that I can look to the future without regret.

I light a candle for the ability to confidently accomplish what is possible

and find the courage to accept whatever is beyond my control.

I light a candle for illumination to find my way through the darkness

and to light the way for others struggling in their own darkness.

On this day…

I light a candle for all of my hopes, wishes and dreams

and my abiding faith in believing they will come true.

I light a candle for empowerment and kindness

so that my heart is filled with light, love and happiness.

I light a candle for determination and strength

so that I can proceed on my life’s journey

in harmony and happiness with hope and a peaceful heart.

© 2000. Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS

This blessing was created as part of a Holiday Ceremony for two of my dear friends to help them find hope and love for the New Year. It was inspired by a poem written by Francesca Lindquist "Light a Candle of Hope" many years ago originally available at the Hope for Infertility Website.

For More about the Benefits of Candle Ceremonies see the World Candle Lighting Lens on Squidoo.

Image Source: Modified Microsoft Images.

Coping with Valentine's Day as a Single

For many, many of my adult years, Valentine's Day was a harsh reminder and a reality check of the absence of someone special in my life.

As a medical student and resident physician in training, I found it difficult to see the nursing staff and married student's getting special flowers from that "Special Someone."

I would spend many a day and night wondering, when or if, I would ever find someone. (I met my husband when we were both 36.)

Valentines - Harder for the Single Female?
Perhaps because of the Valentine Marketing that now appears soon after Christmas and the many pressures placed on women to be part of a "couple," Valentine's Day is harder for the single female and the newly single female.

These feelings were depicted on a classic "Friends" episode from the first season, where Phoebe leads Monica and Rachel on a cleansing Valentine's Burning Ritual (Boyfriend burning bonfire) to help them deal with the holiday. Their ritual goes awry and the fire department (with male fire fighters) respond.

Suggestions for Coping with Valentine's Day as a Single

• Have a burning ritual, but make it a positive, cleansing one--getting rid of the old, to let in the new. Be fire aware.
  
• Listen to your favorite uplifting music.
• Light a candle.
• Read an inspiring poem (not necessarily a love poem).
• Take a minute to list everything you have to be grateful for, and focus on living life with gratitude.
  
• Plan a special day just for you.
• Give yourself a special spa day.
• Go to a funny (non-romantic) movie.
• Get your hair or nails done.
• Give yourself the time to read the book, magazine that you've been wanting to read.
• Watch the inspirational short mini-film, A Knock at the Door.
  
• Plan a distraction, such as a weekend away or a visit with single friends or supportive relatives.
• Create a new tradition.
• Go on a lovely hike. Practice some nature therapy. Getting out in nature can be very uplifting.
  
• Take a girlfriend out to Tea.
• Remember that Life is still worthwhile if you just Smile.
  
• Do something nice for someone else - thinking of others when you are feeling down is a great way to lift your spirits.

Suggestions for Coping with Valentine's Day When You're Newly Single

Valentine's Day is also a difficult day for those who are newly single, those who have lost that special someone, due to breakups, divorce and especially death. As with Christmas. Birthday's and Anniversaries, Valentine's Day can be another of the painful 'trigger' days that bring back the old memories.

Some helpful coping strategies for making it through the day include:

• Take time to relax.
• Focus on yourself and take care of your health.
• Make time to attend to the needs of family, especially children.
• Find someone to talk to about how you are feel.
• Focus on good times you shared with your loved one, rather than the loss.
• Pretend it is an ordinary, regular day.
  
• Find a way of celebrating (or not) that will be the most meaningful for you.
• If you need to take a look at other healthy ways of coping with grief.
  

Look over the list of suggestions for Coping with Valentine's Day as a Single and find one that sounds like it would be a good way to celebrate the day.

Sources:
Dyer K. Ways of Coping with Valentine's Day. Condolence & Sympathy Section. Journey of Hearts.
Dyer K. Anniversary Reaction - When Remembering Isn't Always a Happy Occasion. Squidoo.com
Dyer K. Life is still worthwhile if you just smile - An Inspirational Song by Josh Groban. August 2007. Grief, Loss & Transitions Blog.

Image Source:
Sarah Williams. Brokenheart. Royalty Free Use.

Life is still worthwhile if you just smile - An Inspirational Song by Josh Groban

I just spent some time creating a webpage that will benefit the Josh Groban Foundation, entitled "Grobanites for Charity - Fans Who Make a Difference in the Lives of Children on Squidoo." Josh Groban is one of my favorite singers of all times. I have been fortunate to see him three times in concert, the last time with my daughters, young Josh Groban fans at ages 7 and 5.

I spent a lot of time of time going through the You Tube footage of Josh singing, and will be developing a tribute to Josh - Healing the Grieving Heart with a collection of songs to soothe the grieving heart.

A Pick Me Up to Make You Smile
Here is a video of Josh Groban his rendition of the classic song "Smile" that will remind you to keep smiling. There are two others on the Squidoo lens. These are all good ones to bookmark as a favorite for those days when you are down.

Watch the video and even if you are feeling a bit blue, you may find yourself saying

...what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.

Josh's smile and sincerity is really infectious...in a good way.

Song Lyrics

Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons.
Music written by Charlie Chaplin, 1936.

Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.

This is a very good song to listen to on those days when everything seems to be filled with sadness as a way of believing that things will get better.

Words to Comfort - In Memory of You

Poems Reach and Touch People with Words
It was during college and the later during medical school that I discovered the power of words to help people through the grieving and healing process following a loss.

Words that I have written as poems during difficult moments when I was dealing with the losses of friends and patients have touched people in ways that I never would have imagined possible.

Since it's inception, the Journey of Hearts website has included the healing effects of poetry to aid in helping visitors to this site through the grieving process.

Many of my poems featured on the site have been reprinted as memorials in newspapers, yearbooks for those who have died, or spoken at funerals or memorial services. Most recently my poem, In Memory of You was included as an example of a contemporary bereavement poem in the new eBook, Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep.

You can read the poem in it's entirety below:

In Memory of You


I find an old photograph
and see your smile.
As I feel your presence anew,
I am filled with warmth
and my heart remembers love.

I read an old card
sent many years ago
during a time of turmoil and confusion.
The soothing words written then
still caress my spirit
and bring me peace.

I remember who you used to be
the laughter we shared
and wonder what you have become.
Where are you now,
Where did you go,
When the body is left behind
and the spirit is released to fly?

Perhaps you are the morning bird
singing joyfully at sunrise,
or the butterfly that dances
so carelessly on the breeze
or the rainbow of colors
that brightens a stormy sky
or the fingers of afternoon mist
delicately reaching over the mountains
or the final few rays of the setting sun
lighting up the skies
edging the clouds with a magical glow.

I miss your being
but I feel your presence,
In whatever form you choose to take,
however you now choose to be.

Your spirit has become for me
a guardian angel on high
guiding, advising, and watching over me.

I remember you.
You are with me
and I am not afraid.

© 1996 Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS. All rights reserved.

About the Poem
"In Memory of You" was written on a sunny winter day, penned in response to news of the death of a dear family friend from bone cancer. Her death combined with several other recent significant losses--a childhood friend to the complications of multiple sclerosis at the age of 34, a 22 year old to the long-term effects of anorexia nervosa and a vibrant patient to lung cancer at the age of 38--were the inspiration for the poem.

The deaths of these 4 young women were my primary motivators, but there were many others over the years--patients that I had lost during my days as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) or while in medical school and residency training.

"In Memory of You" has been used in many different ways since it was written and shared with hundreds of people since being posted to the Journey of Hearts site in 1998. The poems was featured as one of the healing poems on a collection of poetry assembled on the Journey of Heart site following the September 11th 2001 tragedy. In 2003 the poem was one of several of my poems included in the ABC's of Grief: A Handbook for Survivors. "In Memory of You" was even included as a Poem on the Day on the Poet Seer Site in 2004. In 2006, "In Memory of You" was shared as a resource with the About.com community during my tenure as the Death, Dying and Bereavement guide.

Over the years "In Memory of You" has also been used in with sympathy cards, as a Christmas card inserts, read at funerals and memorials and found it's way onto many Internet memorial sites, often listed as anonymous.

Photo Source: Reading Card. Modified Microsoft Image.

New eBook of Comfort - Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep is a new resource, an eBook with over 250 poems, quotes, words and readings of comfort for those who have experienced a loss.

This carefully researched and edited collection of poems, quotes and readings combines older, more traditional sympathy and bereavement poems with some of the more recent, contemporary ones. I am honored that one of my own poems "In Memory of You" is included representing a contemporary bereavement poem.

Lucie Storrs of the Light Beyond spent hours looking through books of poems and quotes and searching the Internet to pull together this extensive collection of more than 250 bereavement poems, quotes and readings.

Uses for Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
This carefully crafted and edited collection of comforting words can help you find the right words to express your sorrow, whether a loss you have experienced yourself, or finding the right words to help a friend who has experienced a loss.

The Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep Book is also a very helpful resource for writing a eulogy, funeral or memorial speech. The eBook pdf format makes it easy to navigate the over 250 resources to find and copy the right words to used in writing a funeral or memorial speech.

Some of the many uses for this eBook include:

• Funeral speeches
• Funeral planning
• Memorial Services
• Writing Eulogies
• Sending Words of Comfort as Condolences
• Writing a Sympathy Letter or Note
• Grieving a Loss - finding the right words to express how you are feeling
• Writing an Obituary or Death Announcement
• Reading Classic, Famous and Contemporary Bereavement Poems

Ordering Information
You can order your own copy of Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep, the special collection of more than 250 poems, quotations and readings to comfort, by clicking on the book title link, or any of the live links in this post or here.

The eBook is available for Immediate Download from the Light Beyond website.

More about the Poem, the Song and the Book
You can learn more about the poem Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep, the musical version of this classic bereavement poem as well as more about the eBook at the Squidoo Lens Dedicated to Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep at http://www.squidoo.com/do-not-stand-at-my-grave-and-weep

This lens features several moving musical and video interpretations of Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep. Be advised that before watching these videos, you may need to get Kleenex especially if you have experienced a recent loss.