Coping with Loss - What Can I Say When a NICU Baby Dies?

In the past several years my area of expertise based on life experiences has been expanded to include the role of NICU Parent.

I have also shifted my focus to being a professional health educator. One of the main areas of education for me is in the often overlooked areas of grief and bereavement.

My educational expertise has also expanded to include the perspective of a NICU parent. With this new area of expertise, there may be some overlap with the NICU Parent Support site, and sometimes when the Losses discussed are NICU Losses.

Coping with NICU Loss
Today a posting by NICU Doctor on "Loss" in the NICU caught my eye. This is an abbreviated version of the comments that I left.

While my specialty is Internal Medicine, I have also done postgraduate training in grief, loss and bereavement with a special interest in hospice and end-of-life care. In addition, I am a former NICU parent.

Thankfully, we did not have to face the decisions with end-of-life care with our daughter. Since this experience I have explored grief and bereavement in the NICU from the dual perspective of a NICU parent and a grief and bereavement educator.

I recently posted a blog on What can I *say* when a NICU baby dies? for friends and family with a reminder that "words can provide a source of solace, hope, comfort and reassurance--emotions much needed during the grieving process."

Here is the link from the NICU Parent Support Site Blog with suggestions for what people can *say* when a NICU baby dies. Some of these comments are generic enough to work for other people in other situations when a loved one has died.

Sources:
Dyer KA. June 2007. What can I *say* when a NICU baby dies? Neonatal Parent Support Site.
Neonatal Doc. July 2007. Loss. Neonatal Doc. http://neonataldoc.blogspot.com/2007/07/loss.html

Create Your Own CarePages brought to you by Journey of Hearts

We are pleased to announce that Journey of Hearts has paired up with CarePages to give our viewers their own place online to create a page to connect, share and care.

What is a CarePage?
CarePages unique service allows you to create a personal, private web page to help family and friends communicate when a loved one is facing illness whether at the beginning of life as a newborn, at the end of life, or somewhere in between.

Creating a CarePage can be a way of generating support, providing information and updates easily. I think the greatest benefit may be that of holding the loved one in everyone's thoughts so they can do better and get healthy, or feel the love and support of family at the end of life.

How Can I Use CarePages?
You can use our Journey of Hearts CarePages to keep family connected when a loved one is facing a challenging illness, or at the end of life.

Visit Journey of Heart CarePages: http://www.carepages.com/journeyofhearts
Visit our Squidoo Lens on CarePages: http://www.squidoo.com/carepages for more information.

What has the Comfortdoc/Griefdoc been doing?

Visitors and supporters of the The Journey of Hearts site will have noticed that the site has been pretty quiet for the last several years, since the birth of my youngest daughter.

While the site may have been quiet, I have been pretty busy. In the past several years I have experience the following major life events:

• Birth of a second child who is also my NICU Survivor (Making me a former NICU Parent)
  
• Moved to a New Town when my daughter was 5 months old.
  
• Begun shifting my professional focus to teaching - Nutrition and Wellness and Grief, Loss and Bereavement Courses both at the College and Graduate levels.
  
• Developed The Violet Heart Collection as an online business venture. (Also undergoing revision.)

I have also attained the following additional credentials, certifications and positions:

• Certification Fellow in Thanatology from the Association of Death Education and Counselors. As far as I know I am the first physician to receive this designation.
• Online Associate Adjunct Professor with Madonna University.
  
• Certified in Online Teaching from Cerro Coso College and Madonna University.
  
• Editor on the topic of Medicine for the Journal of Educators Online.
• Founding Member of the Medical Wellness Association.
• International Adviser of the Medical Wellness Association.
  
• Editor for Medical Wellness Association Journal.
  
• Executive Advisory Board for the American College of Wellness.
  
• Served as the About.com guide for Death, Dying & Bereavement

Within the last few months I have undertaken the following projects:

• Launched NICU Parent Support Site
• Created Squidoo Series of Lenses
• Joined Type-A Mom as a Contributing Writer and Blogger
  
• Launched Free NICU eBook
• Begun the Redesign for the Journey of Hearts site.
• Begun the Grief, Loss & Transitions - Journey of Hearts Blog.
  

Why the name "Journey of Hearts"?

What is a "Journey of Hearts"?
In 1997 following a series of events, I decided to create the first physician-sponsored healing place for people who are grieving on the Internet. It was going to be a place to provide information and nourish the soul.

The byline, "A Healing Place in Cyberspace" came first, chosen for the alliteration. The title for the website was influenced by a book of poetry that I had self-published with a friend in 1996, "Messages from the Heart: A Journey in Healing."

The name "Journey of Hearts" is to remind us how ubiquitous the experience of loss really is...the heart journeys following loss. Visitors to the site have often had their own interpretation of "Journey of Hearts."

Sharing the Losses of Many Hearts
After a loss, our own heart begins to heal after sharing of the losses of many other hearts.

Journey of Hearts was created to remind visitors that we are not alone in our losses or our feelings of grief, that many times someone else will have experienced similar losses (or worse) and survived.

As the grieving person recognizes that others have lived through loss and survived he or she will begin to realize that he/she can survive their own loss.